3 Reasons I’m not a Fan of Influencers

I can’t stop thinking about how fake most influencers are. I never even understood the word “fake” before…until I got unplugged from Instagram months ago.

Recently I’ve realized how inauthentic and not normal this influencer craze has become.

I cringe when I think about how at one point I actually wanted to become an influencer. I’m cringing again just writing it.

I get it – it’s a way to make money (some make very good money) but the price that comes with it is just not worth it in my eyes.

Here are my top 3 reasons why I’m no longer a fan of influencers:

1. Most of them strive on maintaining a life they don’t even have. The reality is most influencers want people to look at their curated photos and say, “I want to be her. I want her life.” But do we actually want their life? Most of the time their marriage is not as great as they make it seem, they’re not over their ex, they have fake friends, and they’re usually angry trying to get the perfect photo, not to mention their happy moods are usually dependent on alcohol.

As far as the traveling, having cool clothes and nice cars… I have a luxury car and designer clothes and let me tell you…it’s boring after a while. Unless of course your self esteem is low then I imagine material things become an obsession but when your self esteem is good…material things are a bit boring after a while. Your worth doesn’t depend on them.

I only know a few influencers who are completely themselves. One is @RachelParcell from Pink Peonies. Another is @Elizabeth_._Johnson . They will talk to the camera with zero makeup on sometimes and share embarrassing parts of their life but they keep it real! Maybe too real haha but they’re relatable! They’re probably the most humble and gorgeous people out there and it’s nice that the fame hasn’t gotten to their head.

Side bar: Rachel Parcell has a successful line of clothing in Nordstrom so her fame does come from actual talent. She remains very humble though.

Rachel Parcell with her daughter
Elizabeth Johnson

Elizabeth Johnson is a home maker, married to a surgeon. The reason behind her fame is her amazing personality. I have to say if personalities could win Olympic medals hers would win 1st place. Everyone needs an Elizabeth in their life.

I’m sure you know some honest influencers as well.

For the most part though, influencers thrive on making people wish they had their “mostly perfect” life. It’s a “look at me, don’t you wanna be like me?” In an effort to be relatable though, they share some of their bad moments but usually these posts are curated to come off as charming instead of raw and authentic.

2. Most influencers live in a weird reality. It’s no longer …well: real. They have “photo shoots” everywhere and for everything. Especially if they’re being paid to promote products, clothes and places. This usually gets tiresome especially for the family or partner who has to join in or take the photos or simply be part of the “ordeal.” Everything…starts to feel…staged. The influencer will normally stay oblivious to this despite how annoying it may be.

Then there’s the influencer “poses”. Oh my god…the poses. There’s only a few and they range from: a super excited open mouth expression with your hand up in the air (usually seen in vacay pics), the “I’m so cool, you wish you were me” expression, or the “hot squat” pose (again, It’s the “I’m so cool” look) and of course…of course….selfies. Lots of selfies. It’s just not normal.

What…is this? did something get in your eyes, close them, make your mouth open and jolted your arm up with a peace sign? Is this a medication side effect?
Ok so we’re cool…but it’s still cringe sitting on your car seat like that
What in the “I wanna poop” is this pose?? Like…what is that? I’m sorry haha…but no. Just no.

After being off Instagram for so many months I’ve become so unplugged that I can actually see influencers “fake-ness” and cringe now.

I’ve realized that their photos are not normal. Posing the way they do is weird and not natural. After getting back from vacation with my family I realized that Ive started posing for pictures differently than I used to. I no longer do any staged photos or act like I’m in a photo shoot HAHAHA (so cringe.) I just…act normal. I’m honestly relieved I zapped out of the influencer…well…influence.

I think we all need to go back to how people took photos in the 90s. It was simple. It was for the purpose of keeping a memory. That’s was it.

No weird poses, no exaggerated face expressions, just normal people

3. Influencers for the most part get caught up in the fame and money. They don’t really care about others even though they try their hardest to come off as “good samaritans.” In reality they will promote brands they don’t like or haven’t even tried simply because the money offered is good. Of course they’ll tell you they only support brands they “love.”

As far as fame goes, a lot of them are what you call “fake-famous.” Social media fame comes from the connection the fans feel with the influencer while the fame an actor or singer obtain comes from their actual skill or talent. Therefore social media fame can be very fragile because it’s quite easy to piss off your Instagram fans as many have found.

Despite it being “fake fame” it feels almost no different from real fame. Influencers feel engulfed with attention from fans and they begin to believe that they truly are the most incredibly interesting person alive. This often creates a dull person as they now only think of themselves and in order to stay insta-famous they must continue to nurture their narcissistic psyche. Be careful what you wish for, as they say…

I really hope people wake up to this toxic trend of online influencers.

The truth is, it doesn’t matter how you look. You don’t need to buy their skinny tea, or their detox or their “anything” in hopes of looking like them. Do what you want for yourself and for your health but not in hopes of looking like someone else.

I gained some weight a week ago and I honestly didn’t even care. I think I even looked kind of cute. My boobs and butt got bigger – so there’s more to love haha! At the end of the day I know how to lose weight – I just stop eating big portions. What I want to say is: we are love-able no matter what. Our bodies and faces are just a suit. Don’t take it that seriously. I mean sure, take care of it, but don’t obsess over it and don’t compare it to others. The most important part of our bodies is the soul that lives in it temporarily.

Ive also started to wear less makeup recently.

Layla always tells me not to wear makeup – she doesn’t like it on me. Last night Sophie looked over at me on the sofa while watching a movie (I wasn’t wearing any makeup) and she said, “I love you mommy. You look bea-ful.” Then a few minutes later she tells me, “mommy you the pretty.” She stared at me lovingly. I laughed and hugged her.

My boyfriend likes me better with less makeup too.

I think there really is something about being make up less. I think it makes people feel more comfortable because its real…it’s the real you.

My legs and upper body don’t match at all right now – oh well haha – anyway this is me sans makeup

I no longer feel the need to fit into any social media norms. I don’t care if I’m weird. I don’t care if I’m not seen as “cool” or “fit.” All I know is life is better when you’re not striving to look like the influencer selling fit tea.

Thanks for reading,

Denise

2021 Is Turning Out Ok

Hello. It’s 7 am.

I am still amazed at the morning light that comes in through my window. I swear to God that it is PURE HEAVEN. Sometimes I really think to myself, “Did I die? Am I in heaven? How is this so spectacular?”

Anyway as some of you might know I’m usually not up at 7 am. I should be ! But the fact of the matter is I’m usually not.

The thing is… COACHELLA TICKETS GO ON SALE IN TWO HOURS. I have to be awake and ready. I have to prep myself and get my fingers ready to purchase those tickets. Ok, so really I just have to wait, but the anticipation is too much so I’m awake.

Years ago Coachella began to gain popularity and it only increased with each year. I remember wishing I could go but I was in my cult religion and Coachella wasn’t something a “good spiritual sister” would attend. So I didn’t go.

I missed out on the 2019 Coachella which was pretty historic. I’m not missing out on it again. At this point Coachella has become the most popular music festival IN THE WORLD. That’s right…in the world.

Not only am I getting tickets to go with my girl friends for the April 2022 dates (more info can be found on the Coachella.com website) but I also reserved an AIRBNB. Let me tell you…this is not your average AIRBNB. It is the most beautiful piece of creation I have ever seen. I cannot believe we’re going to stay there for our Coachella stay. Its a gorgeous house with a pool and the decor is phenomenal.

I feel like a kid. I mean pinch me. Is this my life?

Nothing this good ever happened to me before. Sometimes it feels like I really did die and now I’m in heaven…on earth.

Anyway, I also got tickets to see Maluma this fall and they are right in front of the stage – well, 7 rows from the stage which is perfect for me since I don’t know the words of every song and I don’t want to look like a “fake-fan.” Being 7 rows behind is great because if I don’t know the words to a song I can just sort of hide behind someone.

I once went to a Niall Horan concert and I was in the second row from the stage (I had no idea I would be that close!) and let me tell you… never again. I was the only person who didn’t know every word to every song and I could feel Niall looking at me and um… yea never again. Although me and Niall did have a “moment” when I sang one of his most romantic songs word for word and we looked each other in the eyes tenderly for a few seconds right when the beat dropped. So I guess he forgave me for being awkward and not knowing the words to the other songs. At least I’d like to think so.

Anyway, Im about to go through this box:

It’s my new vlogging camera for my YouTube channel! Ahhhhh. As soon as I have everything set up I will let you guys know my channel name so you can check out my videos.

This month is crazy packed with events I’ll be vlogging about such as:

-a skate park festival – winner gets $100, and there will be free food and a music festival. Heeeey. I’ll be there for sure.

-I’ll be taking the girls to a kids museum. This one is amazing and I can’t wait to vlog about it.

-were going to both Disneyland and Legoland this month just days apart from each other. I prefer going to amusement parks in June because the weather is a little cooler. July and August are so hot. I might still do Six flags in July though.

-were going to a Dodgers baseball game which I’m out of this world excited for. I really do feel I died and went to heaven. All the things I’ve been wanting to do, I’m doing! Whattttt…..

And last but not least, I’m going on a girls trip to Napa valley this month for my girlfriends birthday. I have never been to Napa, and I’ve never been wine tasting, so this will be exciting. We’re going to do a train tour and a hot air balloon ride.

That’s all just for the month of June. There’s more coming for every month for the rest of the year.

I want to live moments that are absolutely outstanding…moments I’ll look back on and smile. Moments I’ll tell my grandchildren about – historic moments of adrenaline and fun.

By the way, I mentioned I might get the girls (Layla and Sophie) Into modeling. Last week I was at the Topanga Westfield mall (this is where the Kardashians have been seen shopping at – I am not a kardashian fan but I have to say it is one heck of a mall decked out with all the designer stores.) Anyway, I was standing in line inside ZARA (I got the cutest outfit and sandals Omg) and I started talking to the lady in front of me.

She was a classy women in her 40s and you could tell she was well off. She talked to me about her kids (who are now grown and successful) and gave me advice on mine. I felt like I was on a “real wives of Topanga” episode. She was even spilling gossip on her friends at one point. I literally felt like I was at the country club having mimosas and talking about how “Patricia” lets her kids do whatever they want – one of her kids hasn’t even gotten married or done anything with her life and – gasp! – whisper: she now has two kids. *Cue the side eye and eyebrow raise. Ohmygoodness what a trip it is to have conversations with people you don’t know.

We had a whole conversation for about half an hour (the line was long but time flew by for us) and we even talked about how cute each other’s outfits were (the ones we were about to purchase), and the vacation she was going on with her husband.

Anyway she told me I should put the girls in print work for Disney – modeling work basically. She thought the girls were really cute and told me she put her kids in when they were little.

She told me she has a niece who works for a modeling agency and can get me in. She gave me the number right before she left.

So who knows… I might just do it.

Thanks for reading,

Denise

A Private Life

Lately I’ve thought about how private my life has become and it’s something I would’ve never imagined. Will it stay this way? No. Haha It’s about to be very public since my family and I will be venturing into the world of YouTube vlogging (for Layla and Sophie’s channel – my niece and daughter for those not familiar) but I have been enjoying having this new private life lately.

On our way to my aunts house for a birthday party

Im a weird individual – I love privacy but I also love being an open book and sharing my life. For a while now though no one has really known anything about my life except those closest to me. In this modern world it feels a bit odd when no one really knows what you’re up to.

It takes me back to 2010 when cell phones were the norm and yet I refused to have one. I would tell my friends to leave a message for me on my moms cell if they needed to reach me. Even my mom thought that was weird but I didn’t like being accessible. Eventually my parents forced me to get a phone but I think I’ve always enjoyed moments in my life where no one knew anything about me and my whereabouts.

Currently, my life is great and no one even knows it. Isn’t that weird with everyone broadcasting every flex on the Internet? Yet I’ve just been living my life happily without almost anyone knowing. Thinking back though…my life used to be so horrible that I always contemplated suicide. Now I think back and realize I was basically serving a jail sentence for the past 20 years of my life.

Fast forward to this year and it’s one of the best years I’ve ever had. I finally understand so much about life. I understand and know the answers most people ask themselves – why were really here, what our purpose is and what really happens when we die. I’ve had a spiritual awakening in the past year. It’s one of the most beautiful things that could’ve happened to me. Life finally makes sense.

When I was in a religious cult I was told we had all the answers – we were the “superior religion” – but deep down I know we all still had questions unanswered. I know I did. I would write them down to ask an elder later but I felt that it wasn’t right to ask too many questions so I stopped asking. There was a nervous anxious energy in the congregation as we always expected the worst to happen at any moment. I’m amazed at myself to have come so far from that. I feel at peace to finally have answers that fulfill me.

I used to believe reincarnation was the dumbest thing on earth. My mind refused to believe in it as it went against my religious beliefs. We were taught that we “don’t have a soul” (which is unbelievably absurd to me now that I ever believed those lies) and we shouldn’t even utter the word “soul.” I felt guilty if I even used the word casually. Part of me believed we had a soul but I whole heartedly didn’t want to believe in reincarnation because it would mean my religious beliefs were wrong.

I now know we definitely have a soul (I mean duh) and I believe in reincarnation and past lives. It makes more sense to me than anything I’ve ever learned about. I’m glad to know that most of my friends believe in this too. I hope more and more people begin to understand that the soul never dies. It simply changes bodies through each lifetime like changing clothes. Our bodies are a matter of atoms and cells. Once the soul is gone, the body simply decomposes. The only thing that makes a body move and operate is the soul. That’s the energy that moves it and animates it. We are here to learn to let go of ego, pride, anger and all the negative emotions if we are to ascend higher. Otherwise we keep coming back to pay our karmic debts over and over.

I have no idea what I did in a past life – I would like to know and I plan on doing a “past life regression” (it’s hypnosis to see who you were in past lives) but I can already imagine I probably did some things I might not be too proud of since it seems I was paying back for it in this life.

I had the absolute WORST luck for the past 20 years. I mean it was…shit. Like seriously. I could write a whole book on the hell I lived and people probably wouldn’t believe me because it was way more than the average persons bad luck and I seemed to catch no break. At this point I understand I was most likely paying back for something I did.

I’ve always been the kind of person to defend my brothers from bullies in school, give to homeless people, play with children, give money and extravagant gifts to family and friends, and just generally a good person so for a long time I couldn’t understand why my life was shit. I would pray and ask God why I was being punished if I was a good person. I now realize that while I’ve been an overall good person there were karmic dues I needed to pay.

Something funny happened though. Last year things started to shift in my life. Everything was changing and aligning itself. I felt a weight was being lifted off my shoulders. I was talking to a friend about it and she just randomly said “-that’s because you passed the test.” I did a double look at her. My brain wasn’t computing what she had just said. It was just so random and unexpected. She repeated herself, “you passed the test.”

She told me I handled all the betrayal I experienced the years prior in the right manner. She’s an old soul and spiritual. I was a little dumb struck because I was still new to the spiritual world but I knew she was probably right. My life felt like it had been one long exhausting test. To hear the words “you passed the test” was a welcome phrase that brought me relief.

Lately I’ve been experiencing blessings like never before. People wouldn’t even believe it. Only those closest to me know and smile amazed. I now understand the saying “life isn’t fair.” Some seem to have it good while others don’t. It really isn’t fair and at the same time it is. It’s all karma. Either you’re paying Karma or you passed the test. That’s really what it comes down to when people have “good” or “bad” luck.

Lately I feel I can win the lottery if I played in a Vegas casino…but I don’t like to gamble. I might get lucky investing though. I feel that my spirit guides are wanting me to start Investing lately. Sometimes when you’re meant to do something, you’ll get “gentle reminders” over and over.

I love knowing that life is really about paying your karmic dues and everything gets so much easier after you do. My advice: Repair bad relationships, forgive freely, wish well on others, give, donate, help people. Don’t get revenge. Don’t do bad things. As much as people go to church, most can’t seem to suppress their negative emotions towards those they dislike but until they do, they will continue to pay the karma life after life.

My life lately is very different from how it ever was. I wake up each morning around 10 am after a full nights rest, and later have a beautiful brunch with my mom. She fixes the nicest plates – I call her the “Mexican Martha Stewart.” We talk about everything from spirituality, life events, funny things, our family tree, and my love life. I usually make my mom laugh without trying to. I really love our talks. I love how she proudly fixes gourmet meals for us and looks forward to me joining her at the table. She also makes me a green juice and brings it to my bed each morning in a mason jar with a straw. I could say no to the special treatment but…I’m kind of used to it by now to be honest. I feel my mom feels good doing this and I wouldn’t want to stop her from feeling good haha.

Next I usually do some house cleaning, laundry or office work (I pay bills or buy things we need.) Some days we go out to have fun and other days we stay in and watch a funny movie together. We’ve watched “The Hangover” & “21 Jump Street” lately – two of my all time favorites. Most people have never watched a movie with me except my family and they’re used to my reactions but I do have some pretty wild reactions and weird laughs haha.

I recently booked a vacation to Legoland for next month (which we will be vlogging fully – I finally took the plunge and bought the Canon power shot G7 x mark ll camera so these will be quality vlogs) and we’ll be staying at a ritzy hotel with a beautiful resort and pool. I purchased this high waisted Balmain bikini I really had my eyes on since last year. I found one of the last pieces available in my size at a discounted price. Score!

This bikini is literally everything

I need to get my summer body ready though. I would like to say I will stop eating bread and work out like crazy but the truth is I’ll probably just take a bunch of fat burning capsules. I’m just being honest here. If they work I will update in a future blog. No worries though, they are natural and most people think they don’t work but I have experienced that they do work in the past. Let’s see if they still work this time around.

I’ll still do Pilates here and there though since that work out gave me the best butt and legs I’ve ever had. It’s just hard to not eat bread or chocolate. Those are my vices.

Anyway, I’m just happy lately. It’s a peaceful happiness. After the bad life I’ve had Im pleasantly surprised at what it’s become. I enjoy resting, relaxing, dancing, reading, long talks, and going to one of the most beautiful parks I’ve ever seen with my family. I also thoroughly enjoy the views from our windows at home. My moms roses are in full bloom and they look like something out of a fairy tale. I feel like I’m living in a type of heaven lately. A heaven on earth. Something I didn’t even know was possible.

Before my moms roses bloomed
After they bloomed

I’m glad that as bad as my life was I never actually committed suicide because had I done it, I would’ve been stuck in a realm as a punishment and then sent back to reincarnate in a new body anyway. For anyone contemplating suicide: DONT DO IT. You’ll only be punished for it. If you have karma to pay, you must pay it. The lessons must be learned and there are no “short cuts” to take. Your soul doesn’t “end” just because you think you ended it. Pay your dues if you must. Hopefully you have a pleasant experience on earth.

Bag: COACH, dress: TARGET, heels: GUESS

This is no longer relevant to the subject but I just want to end the blog post by saying that for those wondering why I cut my hair so short the answer is simple: I just didn’t want to look like a stripper. I have nothing against strippers but I don’t want to be over sexualized.

Yet despite cutting my hair so short… men still stare at me like animals looking at a steak meat every time I leave the house. So I guess maybe there was no point in cutting my hair so short. Still I personally like it. I think Its because I really hate the idea of being seen like an object, a sex object. Long hair on me makes me look like a stripper and guys have told me I look like a porn star in the past. So in a way I wanted to look “normal”, “average”, and maybe kind of ugly. It didn’t seem to work but I tried. I think I’ll keep the short hair for a while though. It makes me feel good.

Thanks for reading,

Denise

My mom & Sophie outside of Denny’s
Hat, top, shorts: Target 🎯
My mom looked so pretty
Top: TARGET, jeans: J brand
Hat & sandals: Adidas, T shirt: Disney, jogging pants: Walmart
Cardigan: banana republic, dress: Macy’s, heels: Valentino
Top: TARGET, shorts: Nike, flip flops: Roxy, sunglasses: Gucci
Sunglasses: Celine, t shirt: H&M, shorts: Adidas, sandals: Kate Spade ♠️ bag: Coach
Top: Aerie

6 Reasons Why I Won’t Ever Have an Instagram Again

It’s been almost two months since my Instagram got disabled. In that time I realized some really eye opening things.

1. I like to document my life. I always have. It’s just fun to look back on. I used to document it on Instagram but I didn’t feel that I really got the whole story on there. It’s not really possible since Instagram is mostly a place to share pictures not full blown essays and blogs haha. So many times I felt what was portrayed in my pictures wasn’t accurate with what was going on in my life. I would feel frustrated. It just wasn’t the best way to document my life and invest the time into it. Especially since I wasn’t being paid to do it. It also isn’t good for people to look at pictures and compare their lives without really understanding that persons life. It set up that way though when all you see is pictures, small captions and you’re not actually getting to know someone. I don’t blame people for falling into the trap of comparison. It’s almost unavoidable the way IG is set up. I prefer blogging where I can document a day and write down exactly what I was thinking, feeling, what was said and done.

2. I really believe that you cannot keep up with a hundred friends online. It’s too much to watch everyone’s stories and message each other to stay close. I think the most we can realistically keep up with is about 5 friends. I really don’t have time to give 100 people love and attention. It’s unrealistic. However I felt guilty if I couldn’t. I made so many amazing friends easily on IG but then I couldn’t keep up with their lives and it stressed me out. Now I realize that we’re not built to keep up with 100 friends. The max for me is 5. However being on IG makes it nearly impossible to stay at 5.

3. The content on IG isn’t always ground-breaking. I get better content and information from YouTube and TikTok. The only reason for having an IG for me would be to follow pages that pertain to my hobbies like roller skating, doll houses, reborn dolls, and trends / fashion. Other wise I feel that I’m wasting my time and time is precious!

4. I think it’s odd to share your life the way IG has it set up where you get validated with views and likes. On platforms like YouTube, TikTok and blogging I feel that you are more of an actual creator. You’re showcasing a talent. So having followers like or view your content is fitting. However it feels odd that to be validated in the same way on platforms like FaceBook and Instagram for sharing a picture of your dog or grandma. That means your personal life is being assessed by the public and deemed worthy or not. What in the bull crock… I’d rather share family pictures … with my family. If we have a family event and took photos I will send the photos directly to my family through text or a link. It’s more personal and they get to keep the pictures. They also don’t have to awkwardly “like” the picture along with all your other “followers” as if they were a groupie. Cringe.

5. It’s the worst place for couples. Omg. Don’t even get me started. The things that go on with couples on Instagram and Facebook is insane. I don’t blame the couples. I blame the set up. Instagram and Facebook set couples up for failure. You want a good relationship? One or both people have to be off those platforms.

6. Instagram almost seems like a Red light district. Am I wrong ? We all know it’s where the half naked girls are at. Instagram is like driving a car through a city. You have the middle class neighborhood with the moms and babies, the park with the fitness people, the wealthy neighborhood with the designer clad influencer moms, the ghetto neighborhood with the guns, gold chains twerking and rapping, and then you keep driving, take a left, keep going… ok now were at the red light district. Hello booty pics and everything in between. The thing is normal every girls take it upon themselves to be strippers for free on Instagram. It’s mind boggling. I get that they like the attention and validation but it is just the farthest thing from having self respect. Even strippers know to get paid for taking their clothes off. Instagram really outdid itself in getting people to fall for its set up.

In the end, Im no longer the biggest fan of IG. Sometimes I think that my spirit guides and angels purposely had my account disabled so I could wake up and focus on the things that will actually be beneficial in my life. It was a blessing in disguise.

Thanks for reading,

Denise