I’ve grown a lot in the last year and there’s still more I will continue to learn but there’s something about my growth that I think is important to share.
In the past I used to demonize people. For those who might not be familiar with the term, it simply means you see a person as being only their flaws and dark side. You no longer see any of their positive traits.
If anyone did me wrong, they were automatically a terrible-no-good person. Basically they were the devil in human form. A slithering snake. Haha, sorry I got a little carried away there for a moment.
Anyway, I’ve learned over the past year that we all in fact have “angel” and “devil” energy within us. We were made that way. As much as we want to pretend or delude ourselves that we are 99% angels… that’s just not true. Let’s be real.
Everyone’s scale is different and some do have more devil energy while others have more angel energy. However my point is that we still all battle with devil energy inside of us.
We either say or do things that we know wasn’t the nicest, kindest, most thoughtful or caring thing. It might not happen all the time, but definitely from time to time and especially with people we find annoying.
That being said, we’re really not in any position to demonize anyone else.
As human beings we tend to hurt each other quite often in our exchanges of interaction. Sometimes accidentally and other times on purpose.
The people we want to “demonize” (because they did us wrong) usually have friends, family or kids whom they have tender loving moments with. As much as we want to say or think they have no heart…they usually do.
They have their “good side” and they have their dark side they wrestle with…the side they aren’t proud of at all. In fact they’re usually ashamed of themselves even if they don’t tell anyone.
I stopped demonizing people a while back because I realized that it’s not accurate to see someone for just their negative traits. They are a complete person with more to them than just their flaws. I might not want to be close to them anymore (because unfortunately the relationship was more negative than positive) but that doesn’t mean I have to see them in a bad light or point out their flaws to anyone else.
I also understand that they didn’t really do anything to me. They were just being “them” and I happened to cross their path.
I do this form of respecting people from my past because I feel it’s not only helpful in letting go of any negative emotions within myself but it’s also what I would like people to say and feel about me. In a way it’s a form of forgiveness, and we’d all like people to forgive our short comings.
Im not a perfect person. I’m weird as hell. I say the things no one else says. Sometimes I’m awkward. Sometimes I’m extra giving and generous, I want to befriend every stranger, I want to hold babies, play with puppies and run through a field of daisies dancing and singing. Then there’s moments where I feel like the grinch and I just wanna be alone, “Netflix and chill” (that’s such an old expression now lol) and I might say something I’ll regret. The arrow might start going downwards on the “nice meter”. However these are all moments. We all have them and we all hurt people from time to time whether it’s accidentally or on purpose. We might feel shame afterwards.
Would I want to be seen for only my flaws or imperfections? Surely not. After all that wouldn’t paint an accurate picture of me.
So I’ve learned not to demonize people. It’s not an accurate portrayal of almost anyone.
There’s people I’ll never be close with again (some family members, ex friends, ex co-workers, ex bfs) and people I don’t admire anymore (some social media influencers I was friends with.) They’ve done things that in themselves were pretty awful (again the action was awful but the person is not, as that doesn’t define them.) I forgive freely but I have no desire to trust certain situations again. We all do what we have to do to keep ourselves safe. I think that through the years some people do change and I think that’s great. We’re here to learn and evolve ourselves after all.
If I bring them up in conversation though I always acknowledge what I liked about them (and I enjoy speaking well of them!) and by doing that I respect their person even if they’re completely unaware of it. I’m much happier In my personal life because I practice this.
I didn’t even realize I was doing this. I had been meditating for a while and pondering over it until one day It made sense not to demonize anyone again. We are more than just our flaws after all. We are our positive traits too.
Thanks for reading,