3 Reasons I’m not a Fan of Influencers

I can’t stop thinking about how fake most influencers are. I never even understood the word “fake” before…until I got unplugged from Instagram months ago.

Recently I’ve realized how inauthentic and not normal this influencer craze has become.

I cringe when I think about how at one point I actually wanted to become an influencer. I’m cringing again just writing it.

I get it – it’s a way to make money (some make very good money) but the price that comes with it is just not worth it in my eyes.

Here are my top 3 reasons why I’m no longer a fan of influencers:

1. Most of them strive on maintaining a life they don’t even have. The reality is most influencers want people to look at their curated photos and say, “I want to be her. I want her life.” But do we actually want their life? Most of the time their marriage is not as great as they make it seem, they’re not over their ex, they have fake friends, and they’re usually angry trying to get the perfect photo, not to mention their happy moods are usually dependent on alcohol.

As far as the traveling, having cool clothes and nice cars… I have a luxury car and designer clothes and let me tell you…it’s boring after a while. Unless of course your self esteem is low then I imagine material things become an obsession but when your self esteem is good…material things are a bit boring after a while. Your worth doesn’t depend on them.

I only know a few influencers who are completely themselves. One is @RachelParcell from Pink Peonies. Another is @Elizabeth_._Johnson . They will talk to the camera with zero makeup on sometimes and share embarrassing parts of their life but they keep it real! Maybe too real haha but they’re relatable! They’re probably the most humble and gorgeous people out there and it’s nice that the fame hasn’t gotten to their head.

Side bar: Rachel Parcell has a successful line of clothing in Nordstrom so her fame does come from actual talent. She remains very humble though.

Rachel Parcell with her daughter
Elizabeth Johnson

Elizabeth Johnson is a home maker, married to a surgeon. The reason behind her fame is her amazing personality. I have to say if personalities could win Olympic medals hers would win 1st place. Everyone needs an Elizabeth in their life.

I’m sure you know some honest influencers as well.

For the most part though, influencers thrive on making people wish they had their “mostly perfect” life. It’s a “look at me, don’t you wanna be like me?” In an effort to be relatable though, they share some of their bad moments but usually these posts are curated to come off as charming instead of raw and authentic.

2. Most influencers live in a weird reality. It’s no longer …well: real. They have “photo shoots” everywhere and for everything. Especially if they’re being paid to promote products, clothes and places. This usually gets tiresome especially for the family or partner who has to join in or take the photos or simply be part of the “ordeal.” Everything…starts to feel…staged. The influencer will normally stay oblivious to this despite how annoying it may be.

Then there’s the influencer “poses”. Oh my god…the poses. There’s only a few and they range from: a super excited open mouth expression with your hand up in the air (usually seen in vacay pics), the “I’m so cool, you wish you were me” expression, or the “hot squat” pose (again, It’s the “I’m so cool” look) and of course…of course….selfies. Lots of selfies. It’s just not normal.

What…is this? did something get in your eyes, close them, make your mouth open and jolted your arm up with a peace sign? Is this a medication side effect?
Ok so we’re cool…but it’s still cringe sitting on your car seat like that
What in the “I wanna poop” is this pose?? Like…what is that? I’m sorry haha…but no. Just no.

After being off Instagram for so many months I’ve become so unplugged that I can actually see influencers “fake-ness” and cringe now.

I’ve realized that their photos are not normal. Posing the way they do is weird and not natural. After getting back from vacation with my family I realized that Ive started posing for pictures differently than I used to. I no longer do any staged photos or act like I’m in a photo shoot HAHAHA (so cringe.) I just…act normal. I’m honestly relieved I zapped out of the influencer…well…influence.

I think we all need to go back to how people took photos in the 90s. It was simple. It was for the purpose of keeping a memory. That’s was it.

No weird poses, no exaggerated face expressions, just normal people

3. Influencers for the most part get caught up in the fame and money. They don’t really care about others even though they try their hardest to come off as “good samaritans.” In reality they will promote brands they don’t like or haven’t even tried simply because the money offered is good. Of course they’ll tell you they only support brands they “love.”

As far as fame goes, a lot of them are what you call “fake-famous.” Social media fame comes from the connection the fans feel with the influencer while the fame an actor or singer obtain comes from their actual skill or talent. Therefore social media fame can be very fragile because it’s quite easy to piss off your Instagram fans as many have found.

Despite it being “fake fame” it feels almost no different from real fame. Influencers feel engulfed with attention from fans and they begin to believe that they truly are the most incredibly interesting person alive. This often creates a dull person as they now only think of themselves and in order to stay insta-famous they must continue to nurture their narcissistic psyche. Be careful what you wish for, as they say…

I really hope people wake up to this toxic trend of online influencers.

The truth is, it doesn’t matter how you look. You don’t need to buy their skinny tea, or their detox or their “anything” in hopes of looking like them. Do what you want for yourself and for your health but not in hopes of looking like someone else.

I gained some weight a week ago and I honestly didn’t even care. I think I even looked kind of cute. My boobs and butt got bigger – so there’s more to love haha! At the end of the day I know how to lose weight – I just stop eating big portions. What I want to say is: we are love-able no matter what. Our bodies and faces are just a suit. Don’t take it that seriously. I mean sure, take care of it, but don’t obsess over it and don’t compare it to others. The most important part of our bodies is the soul that lives in it temporarily.

Ive also started to wear less makeup recently.

Layla always tells me not to wear makeup – she doesn’t like it on me. Last night Sophie looked over at me on the sofa while watching a movie (I wasn’t wearing any makeup) and she said, “I love you mommy. You look bea-ful.” Then a few minutes later she tells me, “mommy you the pretty.” She stared at me lovingly. I laughed and hugged her.

My boyfriend likes me better with less makeup too.

I think there really is something about being make up less. I think it makes people feel more comfortable because its real…it’s the real you.

My legs and upper body don’t match at all right now – oh well haha – anyway this is me sans makeup

I no longer feel the need to fit into any social media norms. I don’t care if I’m weird. I don’t care if I’m not seen as “cool” or “fit.” All I know is life is better when you’re not striving to look like the influencer selling fit tea.

Thanks for reading,

Denise

Dealing With Bad Moments

I thought I’d make a post to highlight some of my not so great moments lately… the thing is I laugh at my own bad moments. I think having ups and downs is part of our existence and human experience.

So last week I found out my nail salon gave me nail fungus. The owner told me his nail techs left my acrylics on for too long – It had been a little over 3 months. You could see how old the acrylics looked. From what Ive learned, old acrylics create air pockets and air pockets allow mold to grow. I kept wondering why they weren’t changing out the acrylics. I have never had to tell them when to remove them in all the years I’ve had acrylics. I figured they knew what they were doing though.

The good thing is the fungus is at the “mold” stage and it’s clearing up – at least it looks that way. It was green when they removed the acrylics and now it’s a brown yellow spot on my middle finger nail.

The owner admitted 3 times that the fungus came from the acrylics being old but he tried to spin it on me in the end and make it seem like it was my fault. He told me I should’ve told the nail tech to change out my acrylics. I told him “that’s not my job. I’m not a nail tech.” Obviously the nail tech should be properly trained but wasn’t. My job is simply to go in, pay them money and get a service done correctly.

In the end the nail salon owner still wanted to charge me for removing the acrylics. He also told me I should go to a pharmacy to buy fungal medication. Ok. And who was going to pay for that? This was all becoming too much.

I told the nail owner I wasn’t paying for the acrylic removals since they gave me fungus. About 10 other girls were getting their nails done just listening in silence. Some had a look on their face of “that’s so wrong that they’re doing that to you.”

I refused to pay the $15 and the owner said, “Ok. Leave but never come back again to my nail salon.”

Wow. I almost wanted to laugh. What a joke. He gives me nail fungus, runs an incompetent business with negligent and unsanitary conditions, and still expects me to pay him anything ? Including the pharmacy bill. That’s abuse. I got up, looked him in the eye and said, “Fine. I’ll just sue you then.”

He waved a hand and walked away from me as if saying “I don’t care.” He sat down in front of one of his nail techs.

“You’re going to end up paying a lot more money…” I said calmly. It’s weird but I never get too angry… I never bark too loud. I just take action.

The lady nail tech tried to mock me but the nail owner ignored her.

I left and called an attorney who told me it would be good if I got witnesses so I drove back and talked to the girls as they were coming out of the nail salon. One of them had witnessed everything and gave me her number.

I was In my car recording what my nail looked like when I saw the owner come out. He stood outside on his phone. Then I saw a black truck with tinted windows pull up one car over from me.

A big girl put her window down and shouted towards the direction where the nail salon owner stood. She looked like she wanted to fight someone. She kept shouting “Hey Im here!!” But the nail salon owner ignored her.

I wondered who else she could be talking to. The only people around were the nail salon owner and myself.

Me and the big girl looked at each other and I mouthed from my car, “Are you talking to me or him!?” My eyebrows were arched in their full effect. I didn’t mean to give her so much attitude but I just wasn’t in the mood to deal with more nonsense. She looked at me for a second, then put her window up.

I had no idea what her deal was and only later did I make the connection that she most likely was there for me. I laugh about it now because she was most likely there to scare me and I think I scared her instead.

Then the nail salon owner walked over to my car with his phone recording me. When I looked up and realized he was recording me I started to wave and smile in the sweetest way. This threw him off. His face was priceless. His power was gone.

He tried to get my license plates but wasn’t able to get them since I temporarily don’t have any. I was amused watching him and then started to record him as well with my phone. He didn’t like that and started walking away.

Before I drove away, I honked twice. When he turned around I laughed and shook my head at him. His face was priceless. I still smile remembering that moment. He looked so defeated. He wanted to intimidate me and the opposite happened.

I think he grossly underestimated me and what I can do.

I wish it didn’t have to be like this but he thought he could still charge me $15 after giving me nail fungus. Its the audacity for me.

The thing is he has been doing this to other girls for years. I’m not the first one. I hate abuse. I don’t think there’s anything I hate more.

Sometimes I wish I didn’t have to get in the middle of anything and I wish I could just ignore it but I won’t apologize for having a spine.

Do I think it’s ok for other girls to get nail fungus at an overpriced nail salon? No. It’s not just about me. It’s about everyone else. Places like this should be held accountable. Especially since I know not everyone has what it takes to speak up. I read other reviews on Yelp for this nail salon and one girl said she might have to get her toe amputated from the fungus they gave her. It’s swollen and deformed. Another girl is on strong antibiotics.

I can never guarantee the outcome of anything or if justice will take place but I can guarantee ONE thing: I give hell back when they give it to me. I can guarantee that 1000%.

So I sit here with this stupid mold on my finger nail. I shouldn’t be having to deal with this but this is life. People mess up. I have no problem with people making mistakes. It’s when they don’t fix their mistakes that we have a problem.

Also worth mentioning, my pregnant bipolar sister in law had an episode the other day and sent me a hate message. I told her to watch her tone with me because I’m not putting up with it. After all Im not the one who married her. I didn’t pick to struggle with her and I’m not a punching bag.

And last, I had a really amazing sandwich from Chick-fil-A the other day…and it totally messed my stomach up. Hahaha…I don’t know if the kitchen employees didn’t wash their hands or if they didn’t clean their area but an hour after eating that sandwich my stomach was in pain and I still had 30 min to get home with no restroom in sight. Thanks…thanks Chick-fil-A. I made it home ok, but my stomach has been jacked up for two days now.

Again… life happens. There’s no such thing as perfect anything.

Am I worried though ? No. My nail will go back to normal and so will my stomach. I’m honestly not sure about my sister in law though but I’ll pray for her.

Am I happy to have to deal with mold on my nail? No of course not. Its affecting different areas of my life as well as costing me money. I also have pain in my finger that’s radiating down to my elbow now.

On the other hand though I feel blessed as hell. The amount of happiness I feel is unreal. I have things in my life that I never had before. Daily I wonder how I got so lucky. Having bad moments is part of this human experience though. I would never want to pretend my life is perfect. That’s not realistic. Im an open book and I share both the good and the bad.

I understand bad moments happen, and they need to be dealt with but I try not to let those thoughts occupy my every thought. I let myself feel upset or angry for a short amount of time, then I put those feelings and thoughts in a box to revisit later and I continue with my life as if that moment hadn’t just happened because nothing should stop you from dancing. Life is too short.

Favorite song of the moment: “Play Date” by Melanie Martinez.

Thanks for reading,

Denise