The Person I Always Wanted To Be

Sometimes I think I’m done growing and evolving. I think I’ve learned “enough” and I become satisfied with that. Complacent. Then all of a sudden – SMACK! Boom! – I’m taken to my next level of growth and understanding.

I said I would become very private and not share anything about my life anymore but I spoke too soon. I’ll be selective in what I share but I don’t think I should completely go off line.

I actually thought I had deleted this blog last month after my last post but a few days later I started receiving new notifications of likes and follows. Apparently I don’t know how to delete a blog haha…What I did was delete my domain name not my blog (insert crying emoji.) I am now trying to recover my previous Domain name. Anyway I hope you guys are happy my blog wasn’t deleted and thank you for showing love.

So for the past year I’ve gone back and forth from being productive to non-productive. I think that’s the struggle for a lot of us. One day we’re on it, the next day we’re not.

Well something strange happened last month. Something…just sort of clicked.

I began to have this insane drive to get everything done. No distractions. Just my dreams and a whole lot of horse power.

The thing is I’ve always had dreams…we all do. The problem for me was not having enough drive and desire to reach them.

Thats no longer a problem.

My daily routine consists of waking up every day around 7 am, I catch up on news, watch self help videos on YouTube, make breakfast, clean up around the house, do laundry, go into our home office where I get work done for a few hours. I’m basically absorbing all the information I possibly can in every possible way right now. I use what’s known as “fast-reading skills” which is something anyone can learn. Videos teaching this technique can be found on YouTube.

Home office – where the magic happens

Ive organized the office filing cabinet which hadn’t been organized in a whole year. I have cleaned my email inbox and organized all incoming emails. I cleaned out all my “favorites” tabs on my computer. All of the videos on YouTube I want to “watch later” are categorized in folders depending what I want to learn about. I have a list of notes for future tiktok videos I want to create as well as a folder of tiktok inspo videos.

I have a folder where I keep notes for future blog posts. I’m also getting ready to launch a new blog called “The Stylish Lives” where I’ll post daily outfits as well as “latest finds” with links. I’ll also be reviewing home goods purchases. I will update you as soon as my new blog is published and live.

The reason I decided on two separate blogs Is because I like a clean silhouette. I want people who are looking for fashion, home decor purchase reviews, style inspo and clothing links to find just that on “The stylish lives” blog. At the same time I want people who are looking for an interesting read to find that on this blog without a problem. I serve “cheeseburgers” on one blog and “lasagna” on the other – I don’t like to mix them up.

Going back to my organization: (I’m super not cool I know) I have all my To-do notes organized in different categories as well as home sheets for cleaning, cooking and expenses detailed and printed. I have all of our home recipes organized in a binder. I also plan our monthly trips and vacations as well as Layla’s homeschool curriculum and sports. I have a schedule for our daily vitamin and health supplement intake since it’s different for each family member. I have lists of which places and people I will call each day, what Mail I will send out, what places I will go to, what things are needed to be bought, and what steps come first in achieving my goals.

Strangely…It doesn’t wear me out and I willingly have no “off days”. I feel motivated every day to chip away at my goals and lists. I don’t feel exhausted or tired. I just feel glad I get to wake up and go after what I want.

So how did this happen? How did I become the person I had always wanted to be? I became my higher self…and part of me is still stunned and confused because I don’t know how it happened.

If I had to pin point it to something I would say…I have 100% laser focus on my goals and no distractions. I also have a very clear vision of what I want and a strategy on how I’m going to get it with different plans of action. It’s not one path. It’s a lot of “paths” with precise planning and strategy. The road to success is never one road. It’s many roads carefully planned.

The fastest way to achieve your goals is to fast-read through information pertaining to your goals. Knowledge comes first. Skills and talent comes second.

By the way, Layla has really been surprising me lately. She downloaded a drawing app on her phone thats similar to Adobe. She’s been making different artwork on there and it’s not only impressively good but I’m surprised she knows how to use all the complicated tools in the app! She’s only 8. Jeez Louise.

She made this drawing using only her fingers…the detail is just wow.
Again the details !! She really puts time into her drawings

Then this morning during breakfast she told me about another app she downloaded. This time it’s a game app where shes building a restaurant business. She told me she’s been working really hard to buy all the things her business needs. Sometimes I just nod and said, “right!” But inside I’m containing how shocked I am. I mean this might be normal behavior for kids these days but I just know I wasn’t downloading any apps at her age or even remotely thinking of owning a business. She’s been talking business since the age of 4.

I’ve been listening to the BlackPink essentials album on Apple Music non stop lately. I’m obsessed with BlackPink. I check Ticketmaster every week to see if they have any concert tours lined up. Sadly BlackPink isn’t touring right now.

Also, I’m gearing up to share some pivotal information on here so stay tuned.

Thanks for reading,

Denise

PS. Here’s a photo dump from our trip to Joshua Tree recently:

At the Cabazon Dinosaurs 🦖 near Palm Springs Ca. White shirt is Ralph Lauren, striped bathing suit is from a boutique, jeans are from Target and jelly sandals are from Nordstrom rack.
Family picture
Before going in to the Cabazon museum
At the hotel resort about to get in the pool
Drying off in the sun after a nice swim sesh
Swimsuit: boutique store inside princess cruise ship, sunglasses: Quay Australia
I took this photo with my phone on “night mode” at Joshua Tree during the meteor shower. It was an incredible experience.
I love seeing her happy
Ballet babes 🩰

Life Without the Gram

It’s late at night. It’s 11:29 pm. Everyone’s asleep. meanwhile I’m laying in bed awake, feeling so much happiness. Now that I think about it… maybe not having my Instagram account is helping me truly connect with what’s meaningful in life.

When I wake up in the mornings the first thing I see are my ceiling fixture and yellow walls. I never used to appreciate them. Now I wake up and feel thankful that I get to wake up in my room and that I get to be me. That’s quite a milestone for me since I didn’t always like being me.

For a long time I hated to being ‘me’ and I didn’t see why anyone would want to be me. I hadn’t reached the levels of growth Im now at. The thing is, I didn’t really hate myself… I hated my life and I didn’t know how to change it.

I could write a whole book on everything I’ve discovered in the last 6 months. It’s the reason I wake up so happy now.

Life is a game. The better you are at a game the more you like it. The funny thing is most of us aren’t very good in the beginning … until we get serious about getting good.

I’m not here to preach a sermon but I will say this: Winning at life involves letting go of negative emotions. I don’t talk negatively to myself, I don’t feel jealousy, hate, worry, anxiety, fear, or any negative emotion. My body is clean. It’s a temple. Take care of your body physically and emotionally and it will take care of you. Negative emotions are the downfall of any empire. Some don’t collapse but they remain stagnant because of these emotions.

Lately I start my days at 9 am. Each day there are different things I check off my To-Do list. Then my mom, the girls and I have a late breakfast together at the table. After breakfast I hurry off to get the rest done off my To-Do list. It’s anything from house repairs, phone calls, training for my new job or organizing our house.

I have to say that after years of using the “Marie Kondo” method to declutter our house… we’ve finally came to a special moment. Our house is beginning to look like a show house or something out of a magazine. It stays clean without us trying very hard. It’s actually a little scary. We’re just not used to it.

It’s almost a dream. Actually… that was my dream. For a long time I dreamed of living in a “show house.” You know the houses you tour when you’re looking to purchase a new home? They’re perfectly furnished, impeccably decorated and clean. Obviously most people don’t live like that because well… kids haha. Also because not everyone is an interior designer and lastly because not everyone knows how to organize and declutter a home. Do you know how hard it is to part with things ?? Thats why it took us years to Marie Kondo our house.

We’re finally here though and it feels like a dream. Sometimes my mom and I walk into the rooms just because we like the feeling of walking into a perfectly decorated, clean and organized room.

The interesting part about all this is that some of my brothers have started to adopt the Marie Kondo method too just from watching me. Its really nice to see the transformations.

I was going through my tech drawers earlier, checking cables and old manuals I don’t use anymore (I’ve learned to do this periodically to avoid accumulating clutter) when my mom walked in and asked if I wanted to get Kung-Pao chicken for dinner at Panda Express. We’ve been watching an Asian show lately about cooking and she knew I’ve been craving this dish.

An hour later we drove to Panda Express, got our Kung-Pao chicken, fried rice and headed home to watch the next episode of “What she put on the table.” Its a Netflix series based on the true story of Pei Mei, a famous Taiwanese chef. We watch it together as a family. Layla loves it. I love opening her eyes to different cultures, different people, different eras. There’s so much more to life than our little corner. I hope to teach Layla empathy through what we watch. She mostly laughs and says how funny the show is though.

By the way, Layla is finally learning how to read. I’ve been using an amazing book lately that makes it so easy for me to teach her. In just a few lessons she’s already reading on her own. I’m so excited for her to devour books just like I did when I was her age. After I teach her to read I think I’ll teach her a new language and we can learn it together. She wants to go to Japan one day so maaaaybe Japanese although I know that’s a challenging language to learn.

I’m excited for tomorrow. I’ll be running errands all day which I enjoy doing and I’ll also get a Chiro adjustment and massage. That’s like taking my body to Disneyland. I can’t think of anything better.

I’m starting to miss Instagram less and less. I’m happy in a way to be disconnected. I use my phone for what it should be used: to gain knowledge, information and useful resources. I’m starting to really re-think the effect social media has on people’s lives. I’ve never done a social media detox. I watched my friends do them but I never did. I didn’t feel I had to. Maybe I didn’t want to. Now that the choice isn’t mine and I’m without Instagram I’m starting to realize it just might be something that needed to happen in my life.

I don’t see anyone else’s life, stories, or posts. so I have no choice but to solely focus on mine. I have zero pressure to post about my life or create content. Therefore I solely focus on building my real life. Ive been doing things “I never had time for” before…and I feel happier. I don’t have everyone’s feelings in front of me. Just my own.

Thanks for reading,

Denise