Maybe China was right

I saw a tiktok yesterday where a mother was asked by her son what advice would she give to her younger self. She answered “Don’t get married, don’t have kids.” It was a funny video but the viewers could tell she was not entirely joking.

The comments were going off and I couldn’t disagree with the people saying Marriage and children drain women (and men.) I’ve been saying this for years now… DONT HAVE KIDS LOL. Do I love my child? Oh absolutely. I adore her. I don’t regret having her at all. Was I ready to have her? No. No, I wasn’t.

I’ve been Mickey mousing it, as most of us do. I have read all kinds of parenting books and googled the shizload out of everything. It’s like getting a doctors degree! I have done things that broke me just to make sure she’s ok. I also put my body through hell for her (and I still need that tummy tuck because no it’s not a badge of honor for me Susan. If it were up to me Tummy tucks would be FREE after giving birth. Who’s with me?)

Anyway, I’m not the perfect parent as no one is, but dammit I try. I try to make time to read her “chika chika boom boom” at night, I cuddle with her when she wants me to, I take her with me to run errands and she loves singing songs in the car with me. She’s a real person. Her life is literally in my hands. I think about that all the time. If I mess up… then I’ll ruin her life.

I’m trying to make sure I don’t ruin this. There’s a couple of learning blocks when raising a human being. Those blocks are: raising a child emotionally, socially, financially and academically.

In a perfect world people would only be allowed to have a child similar to the process of buying a new home: can you afford it and what’s your credit score? only those qualified would be allowed to have a child. However in the world we live in there are zero limits as to who can have a child and how many. Why? Political reasons but sssshhhh we won’t get Into that. No one is ready for that answer.

My point is I think China was right with the one child policy. Maybe entrepreneurs and business owners would be granted more children depending on certain factors like income, emotional stability and being clean from drug addictions. This policy would weed out all the people definitely not ready for children and would therefore eliminate so much child suffering and abuse, not to mention the huge problem Los Angeles has with their foster child placement system. They have way more children than people who can take them in. In a perfect world people wouldn’t be allowed to just procreate without a license but that’s just my two cents. Young women would have their tubes tied at puberty and untied only when the required criteria to have a child has been met. The tube process would be free and covered by our state taxes. I’m sorry, I really get into this. Does anyone want me to run for mayor or Vice President ? Haha…I’m kidding…but I am passionate about changing the world and changing the way we have kids.

When people have too many kids it’s almost impossible to give each child a high quality of life in all areas needed. It’s simply careless and irresponsible to churn them out like a factory. It happens though. Not because people are careless but mainly because there are no laws in place. There’s no direction. People normally need direction in life.

With one child only you’re able to give them a dream life much more easily than if you had 9 children. I’d much rather give Layla a dream life than to give 9 children a mediocre life at best.

The thing with children is… you will never stop worrying about them until the day you die. You also have no idea who you’re going to birth. It could be Darla from the little rascals or it could be Freddy Kruger. Let’s spin the wheel of fortune. I just don’t think people understand how serious having children is. I would never judge anyone for deciding not to have children. This isn’t Disneyland folks. This is planet earth where Hell & Heaven collide. Yes, heaven and hell exist… here on earth. Those who decide to have children here have some really big shoes to fill and “May the force be with them.”

Again, If there’s one thing China got right… it’s the one child policy for me. Tell me I’m wrong…but there’s a reason moms drink wine all day.

I’ve been getting Layla ready by telling her not to have children until she’s ready in all areas. I want her life to be better. I’m also not trying to have grand babies to take care of. Honey, when I retire I’m not watching no ones kids. I’ll be on vacation traveling the world thank you very much.

I wasn’t born to run a daycare. I love children, they’re precious and holding them for an hour is fine, but I got things to do, places to be. Life is short and I’m trying to enjoy every minute. Changing diapers and hearing loud crying isn’t “lit”…I can do it once maybe twice (raising a child that is) but definitely not more than that. I’m just keeping it real. I think most women weren’t born to run a daycare and they only realize it once they’re stuck with an army of kids. It’s too late to go back at that point.

I’m at the point of my life where Layla is growing up. She’s 8 years old. She’s almost completely self sufficient. Wanna know something though? I hardly ever tell anyone this but…I’ve been cleaning diapers and poop for the last 8 years of her life. She was born with a digestive disorder and it was something really hard for the both of us to go through. I can’t imagine adding more kids to the mix after that. The good news is her condition is getting better after doing probiotic enemas on her. She basically had very little good gut bacteria, suffered with constipation all the time and couldn’t digest a lot of foods properly. For years I tried everything… prunes, juices, probiotics in yogurts and powders, suppositories, laxatives, diet changes, massages, and everything else under the sun. A month ago I sat alone with my thoughts and pondered on a probiotic enema. I got to work researching it and found out it could be the missing puzzle piece. So far I have administered two probiotic enemas on Layla with very positive results. Her body is showing progress and reacting favorably. I’m very hopeful and excited to have cracked a code and help her make a full health recovery.

She was feeling so good today after emptying out her bowels – she feels absolutely terrible when constipated – but today she was a chatter mouth. I absolutely love it. She told me she wants to have toothbrushes as “merch” for her YouTube Chanel and she wants balloons on them as the “logo”. I swear to God I don’t know where she gets all this from. She’s always talking business.

Then a few minutes later she walks into my room, looks me in the eye with a stern seriousness usually only adults have, and says, “Mommy you should just do YouTube. You don’t need to do any other kind of work.” I was a little surprised. It almost felt like an angel was speaking through her. I stammered a little and said ok.

The thing is I love creating content, and I always have a lot to say. I love finding the best movies, music, clothes, restaurants, travel spots, and everything anyone could think of and sharing it. I feel deep down it’s what I was made for. I felt like an angel was giving me a push. A stern push but a push.

I have my life insurance license and I obviously don’t plan on skipping out on that but I would love to do both things. I do believe in God and angels speaking through people.

Changing the subject…I saw a video on tiktok where a girl proposed the following: going on a year of airbnb trips with other tiktok girls and becoming besties. The comments went crazy. Girls were saying they would be down for it, and everyone was brain storming. A girl came up with a sign up list and shared the link. Me being the Aries that I am, I signed up for it. I wouldn’t do the full year as I obviously have a family but I would do one month for sure. Are you kidding me? It sounds like the experience of a lifetime! Tiktok girls traveling and YouTubing the experience?? Sign me UPPPPP!!! I swear to God this sounds like a movie script in the making. Hell I’d be the one to turn it into a book and movie. I don’t know how my mom would feel about it since she relies so much on me being home but I’d promise to FaceTime every night and send her all the money she needs. My only question is: how safe would this be? I guess I’ll think about that over the next few days.

Ps. I think my self defense instructor definitely has a crush on me. Yesterday he was accidentally knocking things over after saying hi to me. Then he said “good morning” when it was 7 pm to a kid walking in. He laughed and apologized. It was kind of funny. He also gave me hand sanitizer that smelled like men’s cologne. It was the strangest thing. My hands literally smelled like men’s cologne. I almost wonder if he dropped some of his cologne into the sanitizer bottle. Through out the class he would smile at me and afterwards he sent me a sweet text message telling me he didn’t get a chance to say bye to me and that he likes my passion and dedication in class. I’m flattered but a little confused. He’s Korean and he runs the Tae-Kwon do studio. I would never imagine a Korean guy would be interested outside of their race. It just seems pretty ballsy of him. Anyway I’m always fascinated at what guys do when they’re falling in love. I swear to God he put something in the sanitizer bottle. I let my mom smell my hands when I got home and she made a face right away and said “that’s men’s cologne. He wants you to think of him.”

Thanks for reading,

Denise

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