I Got A Make-Over

I have a lot to catch you up on.

First however I want to show you the way light comes into my room in the mornings. It’s kind of amazing.

So last week I did a little shopping and I’m going to share my finds because I found some staple wardrobe pieces. The fashion world calls it a “capsule wardrobe.” Basically they’re pieces that you can wear with almost anything and it’s timeless, classic.

I was shopping for Layla and Sophie’s Easter basket goodies (I like to buy and fill their baskets myself) when I came across the most amazing pair of heels inside Macy’s.

I mean look at them. I literally held them in my hands and said “F@$& these are sexy.” Theres a lot of designers coming out with the thong sandal this spring but GUESS takes the trophy in my opinion. They kept the design sleek, sophisticated, comfortable and yet unbelievably sexy. For $69 you don’t break the bank either. It’s a winner. I definitely had to get them. It’s nice that they come in different colors too.

Then I was walking by White House Black Market and spotted this gorgeous magenta dress in their window display. I did a U-turn and walked straight in to their store.

The magenta dress looks divine with the sun hitting it. It’s flowy, feminine and a real show stopper. It makes me want to sing the song “I feel pretty.” It’s also incredibly comfortable and soft.

The next dress is such a classic. It’s a black button down shirt dress. It feels buttery soft and lightweight – perfect for summer. It says: sophisticated to the max but make it fashion. I would wear this to an art gallery show, museum trip, a nice vacation, or casual shopping.

Both dresses are 30% off online right now. You can buy them in store as well – just tell them to price match the online sale and they will honor it.

Next I stopped at Home Goods to see if they had any Easter baskets or goodies but they had zero at this particular store but I found a round mirror for our entry way by Max Studio and It was perfect.

I had been wanting to re-decorate our entry way into something more minimal and modern. Like this:

Next I needed a cool wooden entry table but it took me a few days to find.

I didn’t get these but it’s worth putting in here because If I had a balcony or porch I totally would’ve picked these chairs up. I really like the design.

I ended up finding everything I needed for Layla and Sophie’s Easter baskets at Wal-Mart this year. I’ll be doing a separate blog post on how to put Easter baskets together. I’ll be posting it tomorrow since I know Easter is soon approaching.

So my aunt Cecilia’s funeral viewing was a few days ago.

The funeral viewing was mostly everything my aunt would’ve wanted. Almost all of her family and friends were there, some shared moments and stories about her that were heart felt, other times funny.

My mom, cousin and I walked up to the casket to see my aunt. Her daughters glammed her up, and my aunt looked nice with her jewelry, make up and hair nicely done.

Still it almost feels like you’re seeing a mannequin. It’s no longer an actual living human being. It’s now a body without the spirit. Our spirit is really what makes the body move and come alive. Without it… we’re just…a mannequin. My uncle cried as we stood there remembering her. We talked about how funny she was and laughed.

Almost everyone remarked how funny she was and what a hustler she was as a single mother. She bought a house when her kids were young even though she was shaking inside, not sure if she could handle the payments. She wanted her kids to have a good life though. She sold tea cup chihuahuas and clothes on the side and she made it happen.

At this point I don’t feel sad anymore about my aunt passing. I miss her and wish I could hear her voice and see her but I know she’s ok and that’s what comforts me. She’s with her other family now. She wouldn’t want any of us to be sad. I feel that it’s a matter of time before we’re reunited. Until then I get to enjoy being with my earthly family while she enjoys being with her spirit family. In a way it’s like the movie COCO… yes it’s a children’s movie and some things are added for theatric purposes but there is a spirit world. My aunt is not gone. We’re just in different places away from each other right now.

I sat there listening to stories being told of my aunt and it reminded me of myself. I usually make people laugh without trying to just like she did. I think I got my dry humor from her.

I’m also a single mother and I have always made it happen one way or another for Layla. I’ve sometimes wondered if Layla knows just how much I’ve sacrificed for her. I designed and made her a dream little girls room, took her on more vacations than most adults ever go on, enrolled her in a summer camp, bought her nearly every toy she’s ever wanted and dressed her fashionably since the day she was born. Did I spoil her? Maybe. Then again so did my parents, my siblings and every person who knew her ha-ha. She was bound to be spoiled one way or another. Still she behaves well in public and at home. My parenting style of discipline is very much “Madea.” If there was a Madea school of discipline for parents I wouldn’t just be passing the class… I’d be teaching the class. Just kidding haha. I do love me some Madea though. I think no matter how much a kid is given the most important thing is to teach kids compassion, the value of money, and hard work.

A little “Madea” doesn’t hurt either.

last night Layla told me she doesn’t want to die and stop having her awesome fun life. She also said she wouldn’t want to have another family that wasn’t “strong and brave” like me. I love that she sees me as someone strong and brave. I’m glad I’m giving her the right example. Im also glad she knows I’m doing my best to give her a good life.

“I don’t want you to die and I don’t want to die…” she said softly as she leaned on her pillow last night. “Well, hopefully we’ll live to be 100!” I said optimistically.

“No. Maybe 70 or 80,” she said, “-that’s a good age because that’s when most people die.” I smiled and said Ok.

I showed her pictures of her dad for the first time the other day. Sometimes she’ll make a remark about him so I thought she might be curious. I remember being so afraid of him. I’m not anymore. I laugh now at how young my mentality was back then.

Was I right to keep her from him though? Yes I still believe I was. He trafficked drugs through airports and was unstable emotionally. However he was a person too. I think it’s important to honor people despite their flaws. I’ve learned that no one is entirely a saint nor a sinner. He had a good side too but that didn’t mean he was safe to be around.

The thing about him is he grew up poor in a bad neighborhood with gangs, and a single mother who worked three jobs and never saw him. When she did see him, she was burned out and tired. One day she told him she wished she never had him. She obviously didn’t mean it like that. She was tired and shouldn’t have said that but that memory stayed with him forever. When we were together he talked to his mom on the phone almost every day and he would always send her money. She was his everything but still…the scar remained. He couldn’t trust anyone and he had a hard time feeling valued as a human being. There’s always a back story but like I said…that didn’t mean he was safe to be around. You can love people and feel empathy but you have to put your safety and especially a child’s safety first.

Would I ever let her meet him? That’s questionable. First I don’t know where he is or anything about him. Secondly, even if I did, I don’t know that I would want to establish a relationship between them. If it’s a one time thing…maybe. A relationship? No. My relationship with him was toxic and I doubt it would be different with Layla. However a one time visit would probably be ok with me one day in the future, as long as he’s changed occupations.

Layla’s reaction to seeing him in pictures was funny. She smiled as if she sort of saw herself in him and then she tried changing the subject by saying “That’s a lame hat.” I rolled my eyes and said “Layla that is a nice fedora hat -what are you talking about??” It was just her way of diverting from making it an emotional moment.

She seemed happy though. I think it’s nice to know where you come from and why you act the way you do.

Anyway, I had been wanting a make over for a little while now. I feel different…and I think differently so I wanted my outward appearance to reflect that.

I went with this hair cut Inspired by the character Adele from the new show “behind her eyes” :

I know long hair is beautiful and blah blah blah…but I wanted something cool, sophisticated, put together, sharp, smart and down-to-business. And this was IT.

This hairstyle is not for every face just FYI. Some women look amazing with long hair and some look amazing with short hair. This just works for me.

Trish, my hairstylist of many years now, is absolutely incredible and does any hair style exactly like the pictures I show her. I love seeing her and catching up. She loves business as much as I do so it’s nice to bounce ideas off each other.

Anyway I went in for a massage with my MT the other day and it was an interesting experience…I almost couldn’t believe it was happening. I mean I’ve heard of it… but I just never really imagined being in that scenario. Basically all the signals a massage therapist can give you to let you know “there’s more where that came from”…well, yes…he did that. The thing is I really like my MT but I had to tell him to tone it down. He’s great at what he does, he’s hilarious, and he’s also been a key stone for my life improvement lately but I just don’t want it to go there. I know my sex life and love life are non-existent but that doesn’t mean I’ll go for it outside of a relationship. In my mind everything has a time and a place and this would be extremely out of place.

Does that make him a pervert? Hardly. He’s a person with hormones just like the rest of us. Hes tall, handsome and has amazing long hair. So I’m not exactly “offended.” Anyway I can’t blame him for getting turned on. I just need him to control himself and tone it down. I’ll see him again in two weeks.

I’ll end this post by sharing the before & after of our new entry way:

I found the entry table at another Home Goods store for $250. It was discounted from being originally $499 because it has a few scratches on the top. Nothing that can’t be fixed with a little stainer. Anyway this Home Goods store is bigger than the last one I went to and oh my goodness the selection was incredible! They have such a huge stock of everything to make your home look modern and fresh. The round mirror with the wooden tables are the IT furniture pieces right now. I just need to add a woven basket from pottery barn underneath, fill it with a throw blanket and presto. I find myself walking over just to stare at it because I love it so much.

Favorite show right now is the Netflix series “Holo” (stands for hologram.) It’s kind of cool to think of having a personal friend that’s a hologram… as long as it doesn’t turn on you because you know it’s kind of hard to trust robots.

Favorite song right now is “Are you bored yet?” By the wallows. It’s not new but I just really love it.

Thanks for reading,

Denise

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