Life Without the Gram

It’s late at night. It’s 11:29 pm. Everyone’s asleep. meanwhile I’m laying in bed awake, feeling so much happiness. Now that I think about it… maybe not having my Instagram account is helping me truly connect with what’s meaningful in life.

When I wake up in the mornings the first thing I see are my ceiling fixture and yellow walls. I never used to appreciate them. Now I wake up and feel thankful that I get to wake up in my room and that I get to be me. That’s quite a milestone for me since I didn’t always like being me.

For a long time I hated to being ‘me’ and I didn’t see why anyone would want to be me. I hadn’t reached the levels of growth Im now at. The thing is, I didn’t really hate myself… I hated my life and I didn’t know how to change it.

I could write a whole book on everything I’ve discovered in the last 6 months. It’s the reason I wake up so happy now.

Life is a game. The better you are at a game the more you like it. The funny thing is most of us aren’t very good in the beginning … until we get serious about getting good.

I’m not here to preach a sermon but I will say this: Winning at life involves letting go of negative emotions. I don’t talk negatively to myself, I don’t feel jealousy, hate, worry, anxiety, fear, or any negative emotion. My body is clean. It’s a temple. Take care of your body physically and emotionally and it will take care of you. Negative emotions are the downfall of any empire. Some don’t collapse but they remain stagnant because of these emotions.

Lately I start my days at 9 am. Each day there are different things I check off my To-Do list. Then my mom, the girls and I have a late breakfast together at the table. After breakfast I hurry off to get the rest done off my To-Do list. It’s anything from house repairs, phone calls, training for my new job or organizing our house.

I have to say that after years of using the “Marie Kondo” method to declutter our house… we’ve finally came to a special moment. Our house is beginning to look like a show house or something out of a magazine. It stays clean without us trying very hard. It’s actually a little scary. We’re just not used to it.

It’s almost a dream. Actually… that was my dream. For a long time I dreamed of living in a “show house.” You know the houses you tour when you’re looking to purchase a new home? They’re perfectly furnished, impeccably decorated and clean. Obviously most people don’t live like that because well… kids haha. Also because not everyone is an interior designer and lastly because not everyone knows how to organize and declutter a home. Do you know how hard it is to part with things ?? Thats why it took us years to Marie Kondo our house.

We’re finally here though and it feels like a dream. Sometimes my mom and I walk into the rooms just because we like the feeling of walking into a perfectly decorated, clean and organized room.

The interesting part about all this is that some of my brothers have started to adopt the Marie Kondo method too just from watching me. Its really nice to see the transformations.

I was going through my tech drawers earlier, checking cables and old manuals I don’t use anymore (I’ve learned to do this periodically to avoid accumulating clutter) when my mom walked in and asked if I wanted to get Kung-Pao chicken for dinner at Panda Express. We’ve been watching an Asian show lately about cooking and she knew I’ve been craving this dish.

An hour later we drove to Panda Express, got our Kung-Pao chicken, fried rice and headed home to watch the next episode of “What she put on the table.” Its a Netflix series based on the true story of Pei Mei, a famous Taiwanese chef. We watch it together as a family. Layla loves it. I love opening her eyes to different cultures, different people, different eras. There’s so much more to life than our little corner. I hope to teach Layla empathy through what we watch. She mostly laughs and says how funny the show is though.

By the way, Layla is finally learning how to read. I’ve been using an amazing book lately that makes it so easy for me to teach her. In just a few lessons she’s already reading on her own. I’m so excited for her to devour books just like I did when I was her age. After I teach her to read I think I’ll teach her a new language and we can learn it together. She wants to go to Japan one day so maaaaybe Japanese although I know that’s a challenging language to learn.

I’m excited for tomorrow. I’ll be running errands all day which I enjoy doing and I’ll also get a Chiro adjustment and massage. That’s like taking my body to Disneyland. I can’t think of anything better.

I’m starting to miss Instagram less and less. I’m happy in a way to be disconnected. I use my phone for what it should be used: to gain knowledge, information and useful resources. I’m starting to really re-think the effect social media has on people’s lives. I’ve never done a social media detox. I watched my friends do them but I never did. I didn’t feel I had to. Maybe I didn’t want to. Now that the choice isn’t mine and I’m without Instagram I’m starting to realize it just might be something that needed to happen in my life.

I don’t see anyone else’s life, stories, or posts. so I have no choice but to solely focus on mine. I have zero pressure to post about my life or create content. Therefore I solely focus on building my real life. Ive been doing things “I never had time for” before…and I feel happier. I don’t have everyone’s feelings in front of me. Just my own.

Thanks for reading,

Denise

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