Strange Happiness

I know I should probably still be sad… but lately I feel as If there’s this electric surge of energy going through my body constantly lately. I’ve gone through so many inner and outer changes in the last 6 months which is the main reason for my happiness but I have to say the massage I got the other week was the cherry on top. It was such a spiritual massage. I do believe that sometimes were ready: we’ve done the work emotionally and physically to reach a new level but sometimes we still have “blocks” were not aware of. I cant say what it was but after that massage I just felt…amazing. That feeling didn’t go away after I left the Chiro’s. I’m not recommending massages – some can be weird, others ineffective and some down right terrible – but maybe I’m just lucky to have some of the best people to adjust and massage me.

I find myself smiling when I take a shower now. Its such a simple thing. I used to rush through it on auto pilot before but now I enjoy the warm water coming down hitting my skin and hair (especially with high water pressure!) Its as if I was at a resort spa having the best vacation…but I’m just at home and our tubs need remodeling, I could think of a handful of things OTHER people have that I don’t…but it doesn’t matter to me. I’m just blissfully happy.

I don’t think about what I don’t have. I think about what I could obtain.

When I’m zoned out enjoying moments I’m just thinking about how much I enjoy what God has made: Water, earth, life. I love water. I love water so much. I still have beautiful flashbacks of Palm springs last summer. I spent hours in the resort pool, engulfed by the beauty around me, fashionable people, cute kids laughing, great music and great food bar, and the GORGEOUS sky overhead. As the sun went down the night sky illuminated with a million stars. Dozens of palm trees, a huge pool, great people and night stars – Not sure you could ask for more. Funny thing is that vacation was super cheap. You can rent some of their condo resorts for $50 – $100 a day on AirBnB. Sweet deal. Definitely going back this summer.

Its been almost two weeks since my Instagram has been disabled. Still no luck getting back into my account. I used to think I could never live without Instagram…and now I find myself doing it just fine! I’ve become more of a youtuber and Tik-tikor now… HA HA im kidding….

but not really.

I find that Tik-Tok is a stress reliever – some of the videos make me laugh so hard you can hear my laugh all the way down the hallway. Other Tik-Tok videos are down right informational. As in, I download them in case they get deleted because the info is GOLD (usually finances.) Obviously I have to tell myself when its time to exit the app – usually half an hour to an hour. Im pretty hard on myself about that. I kind of do this inner scream “Get off NOW.” and Then I listen to myself and exit the app. Otherwise we all know it ain’t happenin’.

Youtube is a GOLD mine of information to do and be anything your pretty heart desires in this world. I have a WHOLE list of playlists – about 30 to be exact. I organize all the videos I like under their respectfully correct playlist name. So when I’m ready to go full Karate pork-chop on it, I have all the videos I need in one sweet spot.

I cant say Instagram was as much of a “help” in my life like Tik-Tok and Youtube are. Instagram is pretty. Its aesthetic. Its FUN. I can share my life on it. I can keep up with friends lives. Is it necessary though? I don’t know…and it’s scary that I’m realizing that. Its like having to pick between elotes, tacos, and burritos. I think Instagram is the elotes. I can go longer without an elote even though the love is there.

Anyway for the time being, I’m enjoying this “free time” (AKA disabled-account-time) to focus on really building myself and using all the outlets useful to me. Im a single mom so I gotta make it happen.

I’ll leave you with another one of my favorite songs of the moment: “Astronaut in the Ocean” By Masked Wolf.

I hope you are enjoying your night and thank you to my new subscribers (I SEE YOUUU). I love you guys.

Thanks for reading,

Denise

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